But fear not, we've got a consolation prize for you. Or perhaps we should say, "Be afraid. Be very afraid." This Sunday, January 27, we'll be presenting a free reading of "Mr. Kolpert" by David Gieselmann.

Ralf and Sarah invite Edith and Bastian over for dinner and a nice bit of conversation. When Ralf suddenly announces that Edith and Sarah's boss, Mr. Kolpert, is dead and locked in a trunk in the middle of the living room, their world of pre-packaged assimilation starts showing VW-sized chinks. Is Ralf telling the truth? Was Edith hiding an affair with Mr. Kolpert? Why does Sarah have a Post-It note on her forehead? Will Bastian's head explode from too many questions? Will the Pizza Man ever make another delivery?

One part Albee, one part Hitchcock, one part Tarantino, "Mr. Kolpert" is the blackest of comedies and has been one of Third Rail's guilty pleasures since day one.

Variety called the play "a wicked treat for the morbidly inclined -- a bonbon filled with arsenic." Richard Hornby of The Hudson Review called "Mr. Kolpert" "one of the most shocking plays I have ever seen," but with "a strange poetic force and deep moral insight." We can't wait to hear your reactions!

Artistic director Slayden Scott Yarbrough will be directing the reading, which features Third Rail company members Stephanie Gaslin, Michael O'Connell, Tim True, Valerie Stevens, and John Steinkamp.

Third Rail's free reading of "Mr. Kolpert" takes place this Sunday, January 27 at 7pm at the Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N. Interstate. Seating will be on a first-come, first-served basis, so arrive early to get yourself a seat!